I was drawn to a recent news article about homosexuality in Zimbabwe.  If you would like to read the story click here, but for time’s sake I’ll recap: a man leaves his phone with some acquaintances who work at a mobile phone store so his phone can charge.  One of the men goes through the phone and finds pictures of the man embracing another man in bed.  The man reports this to the government as homosexuality is against the law.  The man was arrested, and charges are pending.

I think it goes without saying that it’s inhumane for something like this to be happening in our world.  It’s absolutely horrifying that people are thrown in jail for something that cannot be changed, much like one’s eye color or hair color.  And yet it got me to thinking, what exactly are homophobes fighting for?  What is their end game?

If you were to ask a staunch Republican (assuming they are against marriage equality), what they think about gay marriage, we know they are against it.  But what if we ask them if they are against homosexuality as a whole?  What if they attack homosexuals, both married and unmarried alike?  What will they want?

Noted presidential-candidate-turned-laughing-stock Rick Santorum has stated that he is not against gay people, just against homosexual acts and has stated his support for laws pertaining to Sodomy.  In simple terms, he doesn’t think you should have a right to shove a dick up your ass.  Not only do I think it’s funny because there are plenty of straight men who enjoy a little ass play, I think it’s hilarious that they seem to only be attacking gay men.  As a gay man I may not fully understand the sexual relationship lesbians have, I’m fairly certain to define it as “sodomy” is completely wrong.  I think the sexism on top of the homophobia is particularly despicable, but I better get back on track here.  Rick Santorum was a proponent of legislation that would make it criminal for two men to have sex.

Is that what others want?  To make gay sex illegal?  To throw them in prison?  If the stereotype is right, I’m fairly certain that’s exactly what they shouldn’t want (or they will at least need to provide soap dispensers to avoid that awful accident of dropping the bar of soap…).  Kidding aside, what’s the punishment going to be?  Throw Neil Patrick Harris into prison because he has a husband and two kids?  Fine Anderson Cooper $50,000 every time he bangs his boyfriend?  Shut down television shows like Shameless, Glee, and so on because they have depicted various points of two men having sex?  Do you see where I’m going with this?  

We are facing what is quite possibly the greatest political joke in this country’s history: while there is legislation clearly stating the separation of church and state AND a constitutional amendment providing religious freedom, it is the religious beliefs of many Americans that prevent gay couples from getting married, prevent gay couples from providing a family for parent-less children, allow individuals to be fired because of their sexual orientation, support the bullying of kids who are gay, and so on and so forth.  And if the homophobes had their way, homosexuals in America would be labeled second class citizens based on something they cannot change.

Most people who are against gay marriage simply don’t believe that same-sex couples should be able to be married, and aren’t necessarily for criminalizing homosexuality.  However, these same people are going to be the ones that spend today, July 4th, celebrating the fact that we are a “free” country… but we are not free.  When two consenting adults cannot get married, we are not a free country.  When two adults who have lived, loved, and laughed together for fifty years are unable to secure important medical and financial benefits because they are not “legally” a couple, we are not free.  When we have people attempting to instill their religious beliefs into our laws, stating it is their religious convictions that should determine whether or not I can get married, we are not free.

I don’t know what exactly might happen if a socially conservative republican administration is elected into the white house.  I’d like to think the Supreme Court would continue to protect LGBT rights as it has done so on several occasions in the past year, but quite frankly if Rick Santorum can come close to winning the Republican primary, I simply can’t predict with any certainty just how far the homophobic agenda can go.

And while I know this has been said numerous times, I’ll say it again for consistency’s sake.  It’s absolutely shocking that individuals against homosexuals are called “homophobic” when we’re the ones terrified of the social, fiscal, and legal repercussions of being gay.  When we are the ones fearful every day of facing the possible hatred spewed by those who do it in the name of their God that I’m not supposed to have to deal with.  

We are the ones who would be arrested, fined, and jailed in Zimbabwe for the simple act of falling in love.  And if the homophobes have their way, there’s some who would like to see that in our country, too.

1. Would you rather I marry your sister instead?

2. We should let the people decide on gay marriage?  National polls say 53% of the country favors gay marriage, and the United States doesn’t have a law allowing national referendums.  Can I get married now?

3. Do you think I want to be bulllied?  Called a faggot?  Lose relationships with friends and relatives for fun?

4. So it’s against the bible, huh?  Have you ever ate shellfish?  Worn a shirt made of a polyester/cotton blend?  Touched a football?  Gotten a tattoo?  Worked on a Sunday?  You have?  See you in hell!

5. Why are you so concerned about what I do in bed?  You’re not my type.

6. I can’t be a parent because my relationship doesn’t have a mom and dad?  What do I tell to the over 13 million single parent households in this country?

7. I’ll ruin the sanctity of marriage?  But what about the fact that Larry King has been married 8 times, Elizabeth Taylor was too, and Britney Spears’ marriage lasted 55 hours?  Or that the national divorce rate is around 50%?

8. So we get civil unions that are separate but equal?  How did segregated schools work out for us 50 years ago?

9. Gay marriage isn’t widely accepted?  What about the entire nations of Canada, Norway, Portugal, South Africa, Spain, Sweden, The Netherlands, Iceland, Argentina, or Belgium?

10. Don’t Ask Don’t Tell?  Okay, how about you take my place?

11. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay?  Why hasn’t the dozen weddings I’ve been to made me straight?

12. Straight Marriage has been longstanding?  Then what happened to slavery or why do we allow women to vote?

13. Gay marriage makes you uncomfortable?  Your hairstyle makes me uncomfortable, so get out the scissors and lets get cutting?

14. I can’t get married because the government says I’m not equal?  Can I stop paying taxes then? 

15. Gay people haven’t been around for many years?  But people didn’t used to go much farther than the town they were born in?  And the Greek have records of homosexuality being quite normal and beautiful?  And there were less of us because they’re were less humans on Earth?  And why would we come out when the world was filled with hateful people like you?

16. Why can’t I get married and be as miserable as you clearly are?

17. Gay marriage should be illegal because it’s an abomination?  So you’re not a big fan of the separation of church and state or the first amendment, are you?

18. Wait, I can’t get married?  So this isn’t the land of the free?  Do you have a better motto for our country?

19. Gay families can’t have kids?  Can we ban infertile people and old people from getting married, too?  

20. What the FUCK is wrong with you?

Tim Tebow once did a commercial on behalf of Focus on the Family.

Focus on the Family is known for their anti gay views.  Focus on the Family believes that gay marriage is a threat against families.  They also believe it is the intention of gays to destroy the concept of family altogether.  Focus on the Family founder James Dobson has spoken at public forums encouraging people to vote against gay marriage. Focus on the Family also is against civil unions, and does not believe in any sort of legal unification between same sex individuals.

Many people argue “well, it’s not like he came outright and said he doesn’t agree with gay marriage”, and frankly that’s bullshit and a total cop out.  If you expect to use your celebrity status for other causes (the commercial was for pro life) and get paid for doing so, you are responsible for your actions.  It is not a secret that Focus on the Family is an anti-gay organization, and I will not let Tebow off the hook based on ignorance.  He is an informed adult and should understand that by doing work for an organization, he is thereby condoning their beliefs and actions as an entire entity.

No, I will not cheer for Tim Tebow.  No, I do not think he’s sexy, because working for an organization that does not want to see me get married one day makes him a very ugly person in my eyes.  No, I do not think he’s cute when he bows in the middle of a field, or do I think he deserves the ample camera time he gets (seriously, he’s not that great of a quarterback, either).

Tim Tebow is bad for the gay rights movement.  His fervent — and outspoken —religious beliefs encourage the very religious republican nomination candidates, such as Rick Santorum and Rick Perry, to continue their crusade against gay marriage on the back of Christianity.  I respect his right to believe in whatever he wants, but I do not believe it is appropriate to consistently pander his beliefs in such a public way.

Oh, and I think it’s a joke that he claims he will always love Jesus more than his future wife.  I think that speaks for itself.

I will not cheer for Tim Tebow, and I don’t think I should have to explain myself to every single person who guffaws at the idea I think he’s bad for this country and the gay rights movement.

Equality for all. 

Partner implies difference.  It implies that if you’re partners, you’re not married.  And I suppose I should understand it’s true, and until the Republican party gets their heads out of their asses, it’s not likely to change. But when comparing partners to a married couple, nothing changes.  You live together, sleep together, raise kids together, go shopping together.  Gender has nothing to do with those things, so I don’t understand why it should influence what you call it.

Partner implies being friends, not lovers.  When I think of partner, I first think of any law show I’ve watched in the last ten years.  Lawyers and suits, not seeing any love here.  Then I think of an old western sheriff with his impressive mustache, sparkling star-shaped badge, and cowboy boots saying “howdy, partner.”  Friends yes, lovers not so much.  Hell, when you and your best friend decide to do something together, you call yourselves partners and shake on it.  Unless he’s a really good friend, I doubt you’re thinking about love there.

Partner implies inequality.  To me, it shows that even if you’re an adorable gay couple living in the suburbs in your two-story colonial with a white picket fence, two kids, and a dog… you’re still not good enough to be married.  You’re putting up a damn good acting job, but you’re still not a married couple.  You’re not normal, and there’s nothing you can do about it unless you’re in one of the very few states that allows gay marriage.  Partner is a promise of almost.  You’re almost good enough to be like the rest of us, but not quite.

No one has to fly to Canada to prove to me that they are a married couple, nor do they need to produce a marriage certificate just to prove the fact that they are husbands or wives.  If you and boyfriend or girlfriend decide that you are going to live together, start a family, and spend the rest of your lives being happy, you can call yourselves husbands or wives and it’s not anyone else’s fucking business.  When I see people call each other partner, it makes me think that they’re conforming to what society says they are allowed to be (and what they’re not).  That pisses me off.

If I am lucky enough to fall madly in love someday, he’ll be my boyfriend.  If we decide we want to take it a step further and get married, he’ll be my fiance.  And when we get married - whether it’s a star-studded affair my mother has always dreamed of, or a quickie wedding in Las Vegas, or a simple pair of signatures at the Town Hall, he’ll be my husband.  If I end up moving away and living in a state that doesn’t allow gay marriage, or if for some ungodly reason New York State bans gay marriage again, he’ll still be my husband.

We will be husbands, not partners.  As long as he knows that and as long as I know that, that’s all that matters to me.

I will never lie about who you are.

I will never pretend you aren’t my boyfriend.

Not to my parents,

Not to my family,

Not to my co-workers,

Not to my friends.

I won’t call you my “best friend” around my homophobic cousins.

I won’t let my parents call you my “special friend” around my grandmother, who believes homosexuality is an abomination. 

I won’t hide in the closet if I have you.  

I won’t lie about you when someone asks what we are, regardless of the costs.

Because I value you.  

I cherish you.

I don’t want to lose you.

I won’t stop holding your hand in public because it’s not fully accepted.

I won’t not kiss you when we’re out and about just because someone who is homophobic may be watching.

I won’t have other people tell me how I should treat someone I love.

You are worth more to me than all of that.

I won’t ever lead you to believe you are anything but the most important person in my life.

When we get married, even if it’s not legal, I’ll wear a wedding ring and call you my husband.

And everyone will know you’re all mine.

I will have pictures of us on my desk at work,

And on my phone,

And in my wallet.

Because I want them to see what we have.

I will not let homophobia dictate anything about our relationship.

Because I love you.

One of the reasons I don’t understand the anti-gay folks is that I don’t understand their endgame.  Do they think they are going to change the millions of homosexuals in the world?  Do they think that at a snap of their fingers we’re going to go from rug-munchers and cock-suckers to reproducin’ heteros?

Tim Cook, CEO Apple Inc.

Ryan Murphy, Producer and Writer of multiple hit TV shows including Nip/Tuck, Glee, and American Horror Story

Ellen Degeneres, TV Show Host, among other talents

What do they think will happen if gay rights are removed?  Do they think people will stop being gay?  That these people will no longer exist?  Do they really believe people will simply change who they are and turn themselves heterosexual, despite the decades they’ve been living with their spouse?

Chris Hughes, co-founder of Facebook

Anderson Cooper, Talk show host and news reporter

Elton John, Six time-grammy-award winning music artist

What happens if they win?  Do people say “you were right the whole time!” and break up with their spouses to become heterosexual?  Is there some sort of magic pill that magically can change our sexuality?  Will there be a news bulletin telling people they have to be straight?

Barney Frank, U.S. Politician

Ian McKellan, Actor

Neil Patrick Harris, Actor

Do they have some sort of “plan” once they take away gay peoples rights?  Will they throw us in jail?  Send us to a deserted island?  Kill us?  What do they want here?  What are they fighting for?  Do they want to remain without sex the rest of our lives?  Or to force ourselves to have sex with the opposite gender just because they want us to?  Why do they care about what we do between the sheets?

Nate Berkus, Designer and T.V. Host

Chris Colfer, Actor, Writer, and Television Producer

Rachel Maddow, Political Commentator

The 2000 census in the United States that somewhere around 1.5% of the population identified as homosexual.  Extrapolate that to the world population of 7 billion, that means there are at least 105 MILLION gay people in the world.  Do people really think they can change the sexuality of 105 million people simply because they don’t like what they do in the bedroom?

Johnny Weir, Olympic Skater

Adam Lambert, Singer  

Marc Jacobs, Designer

Quite honestly, this is exactly why I think people who believe that homosexuality is a choice or who are anti-gay are stupid.  This is why I reserve the right to tell these people exactly what I think of them.  Because millions of gay people isn’t a fluke, isn’t a choice, isn’t a trend.  Because no matter what they say or how they restrict our rights, we’ll still be the same-gender-loving homos that we were yesterday, and we’ll be that way tomorrow, too.  This is why I reserve the right to fervently and openly state how I think it takes a disgustingly ignorant and idiotic person to say that gay people shouldn’t have the right to get married and have a family, because they must be seriously ill to try and say that tens of millions of people will change who they are just because someone else cares about our sex life.

Tom Ford, Designer

David Geffen, Record Executive

Rosie O’Donnell, Talk Show Host

Homos are here to stay.  The sooner people like Rick Perry and Michelle Bachmann realize that, the sooner everyone will start working towards the one thing in this world that matters for everyone, whether they be hetero, homo, black, white, man, woman, Christian, or Jew.

Equality.