I can’t worship a book that tells me I am an abomination.

I can’t understand how people pray to a book that tells them they are going to hell because of how God made them.

I can’t understand how people follow a religion where many of the followers believe they choose their sexuality.

I can’t believe in a God that would create me knowing I would be going directly to hell.

I can’t handle how religion is the one thing standing between gays and equal rights.

I can’t dedicate my time and money to a church that doesn’t believe in me.

I can’t understand how people seem to pick and choose what parts of the bible they can quote - like saying gays are an abomination, but then forgetting that they can’t eat shellfish, work on the Sabbath, or get tattoos.

I can’t understand how the Pope can instantly influence a billion people and decide that it’s in the best interests of humanity to discriminate against gay people.

I can’t understand why a billion people listen to the Pope, either.

I can’t vote for any presidential candidate who commits themselves to a religious organization, lead a free country, and then take freedoms away from gay couples.

I can’t believe people kick the shit out of gay people and then call themselves good Christians. 

I can’t understand how people say God is all loving… except for Gay people.

I can’t comprehend being gay and going to Church.

I can’t pretend I understand Christianity anymore. 

I can’t.

Lisa Lampanelli, comedienne and notorious insult comic, will be on Celebrity Apprentice this season.  Her charity is Gay Men’s Health Crisis.  She may be crude, vulgar, and cross a million lines… but she cares deeply about the gay community.  When the Westboro Baptist Church protested one of her shows over her acceptance of the LGBT community she pledged to donate $1,000 for each protester to Gay Men’s Health Crisis.  44 showed up; she rounded up to $50,000.

Lisa Lampanelli will forever be a hero of mine because she doesn’t just talk the talk but rather she fearlessly walks the walk and doesn’t give a damn what people have to say to her about it.

That is using your celebrity for good.  Others could take note.

Something my mother said gave me insight to the homophobic mind.  She said “at least your cousin is a girl, it’s worse to be gay if you’re a guy.”

Why is that?  Essentially it all comes down to sex.

For women, plenty of straight men think two women kissing is hot, we all know the stereotype.  Meanwhile, the reverse doesn’t seem to be true; I’ve never heard a straight woman say she thinks two guys making out is “hot.”

Also, gay women don’t have to explain who is the dominant and who is the submissive - and frankly no one cares to ask anyways.  With men, the first thing a group of guys will bring up is “so which is the one getting banged up the ass?”  It’s funny how curious straight guys are about the workings of two men fucking.

When girls hold hands or kiss, they’re being cute.  Plenty of straight girls have held hands in public, and I’ve seen plenty of girls kissing other girls on the cheek or what have you.  When guys do it, they get awkward stares and whispers behind their back.  Let’s not even talk about kissing.  Go to the mall and watch it with your own eyes.  It’s enlightening.

Hell, even the bible talks about men laying with men, not women laying with women.  Maybe that’s why it always seems church gay bashers are more focused on insulting gay men.  They’re the sodomites.

There is a reverse gender bias in homosexuality.  It’s ugly, it bothers me, and makes me get even more sick to my stomach about homophobia.

Being gay may not define me, but it has guided me to become who I am.  It has taught me to appreciate the differences people have and know that one character trait does not define an individual.  It has taught me to understand people’s flaws, and accept them for who they are even if it might not be something I understand. It has taught me to never judge a book by it’s cover, and never try and impose my views on anyone.

I’m a good listener, probably because I’ve always wanted someone to listen to me when I struggled with my sexuality.  I’m unconditionally loving, maybe in part because I understand what it’s like to be different.  I don’t deal with hate of any kind, nor do I let my friends trash each other behind their backs.  I’m not like this just because I’m gay, but being gay has shaped a part of who I am.

If I had been born straight, would I be all of those things?  Maybe, but it’s not likely.

And let’s be honest here, I’d make a terrible straight person.  I am far too emotional to let a woman depend on me, and I have so many female friends I can’t imagine sleeping with one.  I’m a solid cleaner and can handle a washing machine like an old pro, but the last time I did handy work I’m pretty sure I put a hole in the wall.  I can’t remember the last time I watched a sports game without looking for the cute players, and I absolutely love the smell of old spice.  Yeah, I wouldn’t make much of a straight person.

I’m happy I’m gay because that is who I am.  I’m not going to pretend it wouldn’t be easier being straight - we all know it would - but I am who I am, I am who I am because of what I am, and can’t imagine it any other way.

Partner implies difference.  It implies that if you’re partners, you’re not married.  And I suppose I should understand it’s true, and until the Republican party gets their heads out of their asses, it’s not likely to change. But when comparing partners to a married couple, nothing changes.  You live together, sleep together, raise kids together, go shopping together.  Gender has nothing to do with those things, so I don’t understand why it should influence what you call it.

Partner implies being friends, not lovers.  When I think of partner, I first think of any law show I’ve watched in the last ten years.  Lawyers and suits, not seeing any love here.  Then I think of an old western sheriff with his impressive mustache, sparkling star-shaped badge, and cowboy boots saying “howdy, partner.”  Friends yes, lovers not so much.  Hell, when you and your best friend decide to do something together, you call yourselves partners and shake on it.  Unless he’s a really good friend, I doubt you’re thinking about love there.

Partner implies inequality.  To me, it shows that even if you’re an adorable gay couple living in the suburbs in your two-story colonial with a white picket fence, two kids, and a dog… you’re still not good enough to be married.  You’re putting up a damn good acting job, but you’re still not a married couple.  You’re not normal, and there’s nothing you can do about it unless you’re in one of the very few states that allows gay marriage.  Partner is a promise of almost.  You’re almost good enough to be like the rest of us, but not quite.

No one has to fly to Canada to prove to me that they are a married couple, nor do they need to produce a marriage certificate just to prove the fact that they are husbands or wives.  If you and boyfriend or girlfriend decide that you are going to live together, start a family, and spend the rest of your lives being happy, you can call yourselves husbands or wives and it’s not anyone else’s fucking business.  When I see people call each other partner, it makes me think that they’re conforming to what society says they are allowed to be (and what they’re not).  That pisses me off.

If I am lucky enough to fall madly in love someday, he’ll be my boyfriend.  If we decide we want to take it a step further and get married, he’ll be my fiance.  And when we get married - whether it’s a star-studded affair my mother has always dreamed of, or a quickie wedding in Las Vegas, or a simple pair of signatures at the Town Hall, he’ll be my husband.  If I end up moving away and living in a state that doesn’t allow gay marriage, or if for some ungodly reason New York State bans gay marriage again, he’ll still be my husband.

We will be husbands, not partners.  As long as he knows that and as long as I know that, that’s all that matters to me.

I will never lie about who you are.

I will never pretend you aren’t my boyfriend.

Not to my parents,

Not to my family,

Not to my co-workers,

Not to my friends.

I won’t call you my “best friend” around my homophobic cousins.

I won’t let my parents call you my “special friend” around my grandmother, who believes homosexuality is an abomination. 

I won’t hide in the closet if I have you.  

I won’t lie about you when someone asks what we are, regardless of the costs.

Because I value you.  

I cherish you.

I don’t want to lose you.

I won’t stop holding your hand in public because it’s not fully accepted.

I won’t not kiss you when we’re out and about just because someone who is homophobic may be watching.

I won’t have other people tell me how I should treat someone I love.

You are worth more to me than all of that.

I won’t ever lead you to believe you are anything but the most important person in my life.

When we get married, even if it’s not legal, I’ll wear a wedding ring and call you my husband.

And everyone will know you’re all mine.

I will have pictures of us on my desk at work,

And on my phone,

And in my wallet.

Because I want them to see what we have.

I will not let homophobia dictate anything about our relationship.

Because I love you.

One of the reasons I don’t understand the anti-gay folks is that I don’t understand their endgame.  Do they think they are going to change the millions of homosexuals in the world?  Do they think that at a snap of their fingers we’re going to go from rug-munchers and cock-suckers to reproducin’ heteros?

Tim Cook, CEO Apple Inc.

Ryan Murphy, Producer and Writer of multiple hit TV shows including Nip/Tuck, Glee, and American Horror Story

Ellen Degeneres, TV Show Host, among other talents

What do they think will happen if gay rights are removed?  Do they think people will stop being gay?  That these people will no longer exist?  Do they really believe people will simply change who they are and turn themselves heterosexual, despite the decades they’ve been living with their spouse?

Chris Hughes, co-founder of Facebook

Anderson Cooper, Talk show host and news reporter

Elton John, Six time-grammy-award winning music artist

What happens if they win?  Do people say “you were right the whole time!” and break up with their spouses to become heterosexual?  Is there some sort of magic pill that magically can change our sexuality?  Will there be a news bulletin telling people they have to be straight?

Barney Frank, U.S. Politician

Ian McKellan, Actor

Neil Patrick Harris, Actor

Do they have some sort of “plan” once they take away gay peoples rights?  Will they throw us in jail?  Send us to a deserted island?  Kill us?  What do they want here?  What are they fighting for?  Do they want to remain without sex the rest of our lives?  Or to force ourselves to have sex with the opposite gender just because they want us to?  Why do they care about what we do between the sheets?

Nate Berkus, Designer and T.V. Host

Chris Colfer, Actor, Writer, and Television Producer

Rachel Maddow, Political Commentator

The 2000 census in the United States that somewhere around 1.5% of the population identified as homosexual.  Extrapolate that to the world population of 7 billion, that means there are at least 105 MILLION gay people in the world.  Do people really think they can change the sexuality of 105 million people simply because they don’t like what they do in the bedroom?

Johnny Weir, Olympic Skater

Adam Lambert, Singer  

Marc Jacobs, Designer

Quite honestly, this is exactly why I think people who believe that homosexuality is a choice or who are anti-gay are stupid.  This is why I reserve the right to tell these people exactly what I think of them.  Because millions of gay people isn’t a fluke, isn’t a choice, isn’t a trend.  Because no matter what they say or how they restrict our rights, we’ll still be the same-gender-loving homos that we were yesterday, and we’ll be that way tomorrow, too.  This is why I reserve the right to fervently and openly state how I think it takes a disgustingly ignorant and idiotic person to say that gay people shouldn’t have the right to get married and have a family, because they must be seriously ill to try and say that tens of millions of people will change who they are just because someone else cares about our sex life.

Tom Ford, Designer

David Geffen, Record Executive

Rosie O’Donnell, Talk Show Host

Homos are here to stay.  The sooner people like Rick Perry and Michelle Bachmann realize that, the sooner everyone will start working towards the one thing in this world that matters for everyone, whether they be hetero, homo, black, white, man, woman, Christian, or Jew.

Equality.

Dear Mr. Terzek,

I want something bad to happen to you.  I’m not talking about you getting harmed, I just want you to feel fear.  True, unmitigated fear.

You see, when I come out, I’m probably not going to be able to speak to my parents.  I’ll also stand to lose plenty friends.  On top of that, I will likely face open homophobia from people I don’t even know, simply because I’m gay.  If I find someone I love, there’s plenty of states where I won’t even be able to hold his hand without facing hatred.  Some may go as far to beat, maim, or otherwise injure us based on who I have fallen in love with.  Someone may actually murder me because I am gay.  The chance is always there.

You see, Mr. Terzek, I’m afraid every day of my life.  I am afraid today, I will be afraid tomorrow, and the day after that.  I will always be afraid because of how I have to live my life in order to be happy.

I wish you could feel that fear.  I wish you could understand just how painful it is to come to terms with your sexual orientation, and how admitting who you are is effectively committing yourself to a lifetime of judgement and hatred.  Some people might luck out and not face anything at all, but there will always be comments.  Rumors.  Talking.

Do you think I would chose to live with fear?  Do you think I would choose to face ridicule on a daily basis?  Do you think I want to lose my parents?  My friends?  My safety?  Do you think I do this to piss people off?  Or to anger God?

I have never, under any circumstances, felt attraction to a woman.  I have never once had any remote sexual arousal when exposed to any woman in any form, including my attempts at viewing straight pornographic material.  I may have wanted to be the woman in some of those situations, but I never wanted to be with the woman.

I am sexually attracted to men.  I like muscles.  I like a cleanly shaven face.  I like the smell of old spice.  I like tight blue jeans on a guy’s ass.  I like aviator sunglasses on a shaved head.  But not only do I like these things, they also tend to get my dick hard.  I’m sexually attracted to these things.  I’m sexually attracted to men.  As a character from the iconic television show Queer as Folk once said; “I like dick.  I wanna get fucked by dick. I wanna suck dick.  I like sucking dick.  I’m good at it too.”  Hope that wasn’t too much information for you.

I’m not sure, exactly, what you would have me do.  Do you have a sister?  Would you like me to marry her, instead?  I have to warn you though, I won’t be in love with her.  I’ll never be in love with her.  We won’t have sex, which will be very difficult for her, as you can imagine.  We’ll have a loveless marriage and resent each other.  I’m not a big fan of divorce, so I’ll stick it out.  We’ll be married a nice long while, and sleep in different beds much like Lucy and Ricky from the iconic T.V. show “I Love Lucy”.  We won’t have any kids, because we won’t be having sex.  As much as I want to have kids, I won’t be able to maintain an erection long enough to have sex with your sister.  By the time your sister and I reach the end of the road, we’ll both have wasted our lives.  She might come to you and ask “Taylor, why did I do this to myself?  Why did I waste my life?”

And that’s what it comes down to.  If I live the way you want me to live my life - YOU, Mr. Terzek, not God - I will be wasting my life.  I won’t find someone to love, I will never feel sexual pleasure.  I will never raise kids - and I want kids.  I want to adopt three beautiful kids from American orphanages so kids who otherwise who could spend a decade in a rotting group home would instead have a family that loves them.  I want to provide for them, raise them, and see them succeed.  

Fall in love, marriage, successful kids.  Guess I really am a sinner.

I don’t affiliate myself to any one religious doctrine.  I like to think of myself as a good person who wants to love his friends and family in any way that I can, and overall be a good person and happy with myself.  You seem to be of the volition that I have chosen my homosexuality and would be able to change that - change who I AM - in order to please my creator.

Sorry to break it to you, but I was born this way.  If there is a God or Jesus Christ waiting for me on the other side, they both know I was created this way. Maybe he added just a dash too much of kind and compassion, but whatever the reason, I was born a homosexual man.  

What I don’t think this God would have wanted was someone who tells people they are sinners.  Who tells them that they are openly defying God’s will, and who are choosing to live a life of sin.  Who tells them that they can change who they are based on sheer willpower, and who can be your definition of “normal”.

Quite frankly, you’re not normal.  I believe in love, not the proliferation and pandering publicly of my religious beliefs.  You seem to be comfortable with the idea of telling people that you know more about them than they do - that they chose their sexuality - and I don’t think your God is very impressed.  I don’t think he’s too impressed you choose to openly spread hatred and insult the children he created.  I don’t think you’re serving him at all, I think you’re serving a book that was written two thousand years ago by a man with a grudge.  I see you as a sinner far more than I see myself.

Oh, one last thing.  This financial crisis - led by a bunch of vagina-pounding Christian politicians - have caused my family to be in quite a precarious financial situation.  Since we’re low on cash, my father has decided to sell his daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7.  What should our asking price be?

Do us all a favor and get off Tumblr.  Tumblr is the one place in the world us gay folks can hide from the repercussions of how “God’s children” treat us for how he created us.  This is a free world so I can’t quite stop you, but I can ask you to leave us Gay folk alone.  There’s a lot of us around these parts.

I would “wish you a nice day” with the manners my parents taught me, but they also taught me to be honest.  I’m not sure which sin - being disrespectful or lying - is worse, so I’ll be honest with you.

I hope you step in dog shit.

Yours,

Kyle 

Someone I follow posted me something reminding my of my last trip into the city.  Rochester New York is pretty liberal, even with our few redneck Republicans here and there.  Along with a little sheltering from my parents, and by the time I was 21 I could count on a couple of fingers the number of times I had seen people in open protest of homosexuality.

Imagine my surprise, then, when my cousin and I were dropping off her girlfriend of two years at the American Idol concert.  As I looked from my cramped position in the passanger’s seat of a PT Cruiser (that has several gay pride stickers on the bumper) I looked and saw a religious group protesting homosexuality at every entrance.  

And side note, none of the thousands of 10-14 year old girls at the concert give a shit about learning about the dangers of homosexuality.  They wanted themselves some Scottie McCreery.

Women and girls were wearing traditional flowered dresses, while the men sported long beards.  The boys were clean-shaven wore blue slacks, crisp button up t-shirts, and suspenders.  Obviously, they were from a very strict religious lifestyle.  I won’t try and wager a guess as to what religion they were coming from, and frankly it doesn’t matter.

At a stoplight, I took a hard look at one of the boys.  He looked to be somewhere around 20 years old, and he looked absolutely miserable.  I can remember noticing how his sunken eyes and lethargic movements drew away from an otherwise attractive guy.  He halfheartedly tried passing out pamphlets, but was waved away at every turn.  He looked insecure, frightened, and terribly troubled.  The light was gone from his eyes.

What kind of parent raises their child like this?  Breeds them into a world of hatred and melancholy, while pandering ideas that are guaranteed to isolate, shame, and otherwise humiliate him.  You are essentially bringing life into the world and subsequently destroying it before he has had a chance to live.

How do these people live with themselves?  Do they lack a moral compass that let’s them know the difference from right and wrong?  Can they comprehend that no matter how much hatred and loathing they spread, they aren’t going to rid this world of gay people, nor will they be able to damage the unbelievable amounts of love that pours out of the gay community.

They are hateful, mean-spirited, and destroy lives.  They instruct others how to live their lives, without letting their children have lives of their own.  How can they perceive this as God’s will?  If these ideals aren’t reflective of what their devil stands for, I don’t know what is.

As we turned a final corner to head away from the arena, I looked at the smaller children that were standing around, dancing around in their decades outdated clothing, innocent to the fact that they would never lead normal lives.  One day they would realize that there were people staring at them, and the spark inside them would go out.  The light in their eyes would fade.

A shrill cry in the backseat lead me to turn around to my cousin’s girlfriend’s three year old daughter.  She had dropped one of her plush toys, and I quickly retrieved it for her.  She smiled at me fondly before slamming the stuffed animal into her face in such a manner that would make any person’s heart melt.  She’s a happy little girl with two wonderful parents, who also happen to be women.  Why do a bunch of miserable people in old clothes think they have a right to say what’s best for her?  What kind of message is this to send to other kids, let alone their own?

I am hesitant to say there needs to be an end of their religion, because it’s everyone’s right to believe in what they want, no matter how ridiculous.  However, I think there needs to be some sort of revolution.  Some sort of change where the youth start to actively appreciate the beauty in the world around them, rather than having them train in how to destroy it.  

Can you imagine how much time, money, and energy is wasted by these people in their efforts against homosexuality, efforts that will never succeed?

Can you imagine how many of these kids no longer have the innocent, beautiful light in their eyes?