1. Would you rather I marry your sister instead?

2. We should let the people decide on gay marriage?  National polls say 53% of the country favors gay marriage, and the United States doesn’t have a law allowing national referendums.  Can I get married now?

3. Do you think I want to be bulllied?  Called a faggot?  Lose relationships with friends and relatives for fun?

4. So it’s against the bible, huh?  Have you ever ate shellfish?  Worn a shirt made of a polyester/cotton blend?  Touched a football?  Gotten a tattoo?  Worked on a Sunday?  You have?  See you in hell!

5. Why are you so concerned about what I do in bed?  You’re not my type.

6. I can’t be a parent because my relationship doesn’t have a mom and dad?  What do I tell to the over 13 million single parent households in this country?

7. I’ll ruin the sanctity of marriage?  But what about the fact that Larry King has been married 8 times, Elizabeth Taylor was too, and Britney Spears’ marriage lasted 55 hours?  Or that the national divorce rate is around 50%?

8. So we get civil unions that are separate but equal?  How did segregated schools work out for us 50 years ago?

9. Gay marriage isn’t widely accepted?  What about the entire nations of Canada, Norway, Portugal, South Africa, Spain, Sweden, The Netherlands, Iceland, Argentina, or Belgium?

10. Don’t Ask Don’t Tell?  Okay, how about you take my place?

11. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay?  Why hasn’t the dozen weddings I’ve been to made me straight?

12. Straight Marriage has been longstanding?  Then what happened to slavery or why do we allow women to vote?

13. Gay marriage makes you uncomfortable?  Your hairstyle makes me uncomfortable, so get out the scissors and lets get cutting?

14. I can’t get married because the government says I’m not equal?  Can I stop paying taxes then? 

15. Gay people haven’t been around for many years?  But people didn’t used to go much farther than the town they were born in?  And the Greek have records of homosexuality being quite normal and beautiful?  And there were less of us because they’re were less humans on Earth?  And why would we come out when the world was filled with hateful people like you?

16. Why can’t I get married and be as miserable as you clearly are?

17. Gay marriage should be illegal because it’s an abomination?  So you’re not a big fan of the separation of church and state or the first amendment, are you?

18. Wait, I can’t get married?  So this isn’t the land of the free?  Do you have a better motto for our country?

19. Gay families can’t have kids?  Can we ban infertile people and old people from getting married, too?  

20. What the FUCK is wrong with you?

One of the reasons I don’t understand the anti-gay folks is that I don’t understand their endgame.  Do they think they are going to change the millions of homosexuals in the world?  Do they think that at a snap of their fingers we’re going to go from rug-munchers and cock-suckers to reproducin’ heteros?

Tim Cook, CEO Apple Inc.

Ryan Murphy, Producer and Writer of multiple hit TV shows including Nip/Tuck, Glee, and American Horror Story

Ellen Degeneres, TV Show Host, among other talents

What do they think will happen if gay rights are removed?  Do they think people will stop being gay?  That these people will no longer exist?  Do they really believe people will simply change who they are and turn themselves heterosexual, despite the decades they’ve been living with their spouse?

Chris Hughes, co-founder of Facebook

Anderson Cooper, Talk show host and news reporter

Elton John, Six time-grammy-award winning music artist

What happens if they win?  Do people say “you were right the whole time!” and break up with their spouses to become heterosexual?  Is there some sort of magic pill that magically can change our sexuality?  Will there be a news bulletin telling people they have to be straight?

Barney Frank, U.S. Politician

Ian McKellan, Actor

Neil Patrick Harris, Actor

Do they have some sort of “plan” once they take away gay peoples rights?  Will they throw us in jail?  Send us to a deserted island?  Kill us?  What do they want here?  What are they fighting for?  Do they want to remain without sex the rest of our lives?  Or to force ourselves to have sex with the opposite gender just because they want us to?  Why do they care about what we do between the sheets?

Nate Berkus, Designer and T.V. Host

Chris Colfer, Actor, Writer, and Television Producer

Rachel Maddow, Political Commentator

The 2000 census in the United States that somewhere around 1.5% of the population identified as homosexual.  Extrapolate that to the world population of 7 billion, that means there are at least 105 MILLION gay people in the world.  Do people really think they can change the sexuality of 105 million people simply because they don’t like what they do in the bedroom?

Johnny Weir, Olympic Skater

Adam Lambert, Singer  

Marc Jacobs, Designer

Quite honestly, this is exactly why I think people who believe that homosexuality is a choice or who are anti-gay are stupid.  This is why I reserve the right to tell these people exactly what I think of them.  Because millions of gay people isn’t a fluke, isn’t a choice, isn’t a trend.  Because no matter what they say or how they restrict our rights, we’ll still be the same-gender-loving homos that we were yesterday, and we’ll be that way tomorrow, too.  This is why I reserve the right to fervently and openly state how I think it takes a disgustingly ignorant and idiotic person to say that gay people shouldn’t have the right to get married and have a family, because they must be seriously ill to try and say that tens of millions of people will change who they are just because someone else cares about our sex life.

Tom Ford, Designer

David Geffen, Record Executive

Rosie O’Donnell, Talk Show Host

Homos are here to stay.  The sooner people like Rick Perry and Michelle Bachmann realize that, the sooner everyone will start working towards the one thing in this world that matters for everyone, whether they be hetero, homo, black, white, man, woman, Christian, or Jew.

Equality.